Rats, Pants & Sex

Definitely three words that shouldn’t all be in the same sentence.

I cannot believe I missed this momentous article – a study out of Cairo has looked at the effect of different pant textiles on rat sexual activity.

Yep.

Straight to the conclusion – at 6 and 12 months of wearing polyester and polyester-cotton mix pants, rats had significantly reduced sexual activity compared with those wearing cotton and wool pants.

Fortunately for our polyester-induced-rat-pseudo-eunuchs, their manliness returned to normal 6 months after removal of the offending pants.

Please explain?

Apparently polyester-containing pants generate electrostatic fields in the rat’s penis (measured by…?) and these electrostatic fields reduce rat sexual activity.

I am not even sure what level of evidence this is (level II?), but I think we can safely say that if you are a dude, you should steer clear of polyester pants… Pant creases be damned.

Picture: Dr A Shafik. (Why is there no photo - did the rats not consent?)

Picture: Dr A Shafik.

[The mind boggles.  Why is there only a sketch as per above; did the rats not consent for photography?  And how long did it take to tie the pants on 75 rats? Also, the caption above is ‘the underpant’; does that mean the rat had additional clothing on top? If yes, were these generic or designer brands?  And how the hell does the rat go to the toilet?]

And finally, why? Just… Why?

On another rat-related note, check out this news article about rampant mutant rats in England (I particularly like how it is classily categorised under ‘wtf’). Forget the rat poison (“they can take up to a week to die”); get all of these rats into polyester pants pronto and interrupt their breeding cycle. Boom.

REFERENCE
Shafik A. Effect of different types of textiles on sexual activity. Experimental study. Eur Urol. 1993;24(3):375-80.

If you have found a spelling or grammatical error, please notify me by highlighting that text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

Share

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *