Sickness, Sadness & Stupid Songs

So last week was a tough week (in a first-world problem kind of way)…

  • A dear relative passed away (R.I.P)
  • I started back at work
  • 6-month-old baby girl started daycare and acquired the requisite pestilence in the form of roseola (40 deg temps, hello?)
  • Baby girl decided that roseola was not hard-arse enough… so she cut her first tooth as well
  • 2-year-old boy started toilet training
  • And got gastro
  • And gave it to me
  • Husband remained unscathed

So unfair! Until I realised I had absolutely no capacity (sympathy) to deal with man-flu as well…

Anyway, made it to the end of the week…. Feeling pretty down and beat… I thought of all the people around the world who have it worse off than me… And felt even more pathetically sad…


… Aw, thanks!

Nothing like some bedtime nursery rhymes with my little man to perk up my spirits.

Pick of the Week: “Old MacDonald Had A Farm” (he picks the animals in his ‘cute’ 2-year-old-thousand-decibel voice):

“And on the farm he had a…”
LIZARD!” (WTF noise does a lizard make?! I do this strange growling gargling noise. I am Kimodo Dragon incarnate. Yeah baby, I’m feelin’ it.)

“And on the farm he had a…”
FISH!” (I do the facial expressions, apparently not good enough… “No Mum, I wanna hear. The. FISH. NOISE!!!!” I start gargling again, while doing the kissy lips.)

“And on the farm he had a…”
LADYBIRD!” (I’m feeling kind of disheartened by the choice of animals – but the psychohosebeast won’t take no for an answer. I buzz half-heartedly and flap my imaginary midget wings.)

“And on the farm he had a…”
MUMMY BIRD!” (I tweet and chirp. Uh noooo, he wants a MUMMY bird… I start doing the retching-regurgitation noise and actions, while flapping my wings and doing a Bollywood head bob, ending with a big fake vomit into his mouth. He laughs. We move on…. Weirdo.)

“And on the farm he had a…”
RHINO!” (OH I’m SORRY! I didn’t realise we were singing “Old MacDonald had an effin Safari”… Nevertheless I do my best rhino impression… Unfortunately it sounds what I imagine to be a rhino in heat.)

“And on the farm he had a…”
RABBIT!” (OH COME ON! Now he’s just messing with me.. I pointedly ignore him in a good-parenting-kinda-way. You know, when you ignore them, but in a way that THEY FEEL LOVED AND SECURE.)


The animals that NORMAL children pick

I’m feeling pretty pathetic on the animal-noise front by now. Fast forward to when our boy is all grown up, in therapy because he’s got a stupid hipster beard, no girlfriend, and has a whole menagerie of exotic animals in his 200 sq ft flat and stars on “Hoarders” all because “my mother couldn’t do proper animal noises”.

“Come on. Pick some proper animals…”
“OK, Old MacDonald had a farm… and on the farm he had a…”


Damn you Madagascar.

BTW… ever seen when merch doesn’t really look like the original?



King Julien XIII…



… Mardi Gras version…



… Ebola limited edition…



…Ataxic Julien… (tee hee, doctor nerd joke)


And because nothing in this world is complete without reference to Bon Jovi and/or Top Gun…


JBJ Ken Doll. Seriously WTF, so inaccurate!! (Haven’t they noticed Jon has cut his hair?!)



Iceman (apparently). What did they do to your FACE? Val, I’m so sorry…

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