Forget all that deep and meaningful crap that people go on about once they’ve had kids.
- Sure you love them – biological imperative – I believe they call it gene survival…
- You can’t imagine life without them – because they won’t shut up long enough to let you…
- Having them makes you stronger – I don’t mean in the philosophical sense – I mean literally – you can soldier on:
- Starving: suddenly it seems OK to eat the food morsel your toddler dropped on the floor – 30 second rule right? Or was it 30 minute rule? Who needs a food dehydrator when you have ambient air.
- Sleep-deprived: Navy SEALS have nothing on us… Even in training they get meals/ snacks… And they only have to carry logs/ inflatable dinghies right? We have to do all the heavy lifting with a broken body and a small noisy barracuda attached to our nipples.
- Sick: invariably with a mysterious mega virus that can only be picked up from daycare. The medical community clearly don’t care enough to find a solution, and instead focus on other silly diseases like Ebola.
Sorry… I digress (rant).
Life pre- vs post-kids can be best summed up as follows:
- PRE-KIDS: you dream of love, success, wealth, (insert your dreams here).
- POST-KIDS: you dream of this:
I kid you not, Google “stars align” and you will see a LOT of the results refer to kids sleeping at the same time.