Life… Pre- and Post-Children

Forget all that deep and meaningful crap that people go on about once they’ve had kids.

  • Sure you love them – biological imperative – I believe they call it gene survival…
  • You can’t imagine life without them – because they won’t shut up long enough to let you…
  • Having them makes you stronger – I don’t mean in the philosophical sense – I mean literally – you can soldier on:
    • Starving:  suddenly it seems OK to eat the food morsel your toddler dropped on the floor – 30 second rule right? Or was it 30 minute rule? Who needs a food dehydrator when you have ambient air.
    • Sleep-deprived:  Navy SEALS have nothing on us… Even in training they get meals/ snacks… And they only have to carry logs/ inflatable dinghies right? We have to do all the heavy lifting with a broken body and a small noisy barracuda attached to our nipples.
    • Sick:  invariably with a mysterious mega virus that can only be picked up from daycare. The medical community clearly don’t care enough to find a solution, and instead focus on other silly diseases like Ebola.

Sorry… I digress (rant).

Life pre- vs post-kids can be best summed up as follows:

  • PRE-KIDS: you dream of love, success, wealth, (insert your dreams here).
  • POST-KIDS: you dream of this:

sleeping babes

I kid you not, Google “stars align” and you will see a LOT of the results refer to kids sleeping at the same time.

If you have found a spelling or grammatical error, please notify me by highlighting that text and pressing Ctrl+Enter.

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